The Perspiration Prescription

A Sweaty Situation

One of my patients, Bill, called to make an appointment at my general practice the other day. He called up the front desk, and when I answered, he seemed almost exasperated. “Hi, Bill,” I said. “A little early for your yearly check up, aren’t ya?”

“Doc, ya gotta help me!” he responded. “I can’t deal with this sweat anymore. It’s making me smell when I work at the office, and everybody stares at me like I’m some caveman that doesn’t know what the word ‘hygiene’ means. But when I use most deodorants, my skin gets irritated. I get a rash as angry as I am right now!”

“Slow down, Bill. Come in tomorrow afternoon and we’ll have a look.” I hang up the phone, and shake my head. Many men and women, much like Bill, struggle to deal with embarrassing odors from sweat. Most of them don’t realize what sweat does for them, or why odor occurs. I plan to educate Bill on the subject tomorrow – and maybe even offer him a solution.


The Next Day…

Bill plops down onto the examination table, crosses his arms, and stares at me before he speaks. “Doc, you have got to help me figure out what to do about this sweat situation. No matter what I do, I can’t win. I play basketball with the guys and, not only do I lose the game, but I end up with this rash afterwards.”

“From your antiperspirant, I presume?” I ask, taking notes on my legal pad.

“Probably. But if I don’t wear it, then I lose again because the ladies don’t like a guy that smells like a pile of forgotten sweat socks.” I stifle a chuckle as he rubs his eyes with his fingers. “What do you think I should do? I was hoping that you would give me a prescription for some of that Rx deodorant or something. Get me something strong that stops the sweat completely, but still doesn’t mess up my pit-game.”

I cringe when he mentions a stronger deodorant. “Bill, let me give you some facts about sweating and deodorant.” I take a seat in the chair across from him. “Sweating is really good for you. Seriously. And trying to stop your sweating process in any way can greatly impede your health.”

“Seriously?” He looks at me thoughtfully. “How so, Doc?”

“Well, sweat lets your body detox naturally. There are two types of sweat: apocrine and eccrine. Eccrine glands start functioning to cool your body down when you exercise. It contains mostly salt and water. Emotional stress like anger and anxiety activate your apocrine glands – which produce more fats and proteins. Hormones like testosterone can also affect the function of the apocrine glands. The sweat that stinks comes from these glands. So, it’s probably best to diagnose what makes your sweat stink so much. Then, we can figure out a deodorant solution.”

“Alright, Doc. What do ya need to know?”

“Do you experience a lot of stress in your life? Work, family, anything like that?” I ready my pen and notepad.

“Yea. Sometimes work stresses me out when it gets too busy.”

“Do you consume caffeinated beverages regularly?”

“Yea! Of course! I have at least 4 cups of coffee everyday! I know that’s just awful, but if I don’t get a lot of caffeine, then I turn into a walking zombie from outer space or something.”

I scratch my head. Four cups a day? That’s a lot of coffee, and might actually be part of his problem. “What about red meats, broccoli, asparagus, onions, or garlic?”

“You got me with the red meat, Doc! And the onion and garlic. I love to grill a big ol‘ steak on summer days, powder it down with plenty of garlic powder, and sauté some onions on the side. Like my meat rare as I can get it without it winking at me!” He chuckles and starts to visibly relax, leaning against the wall and grinning.

I smile along with him, even though it appears that most of the things he does add to his odor issue. “What about alcohol? Do you drink every now and then?”

“Oh, sure. Every weekend me and the guys go for beers down at the local watering hole.” He smiles. “Good times.”

“Well, I hate to tell you this, Bill. But pretty much all of these things contribute to body odor.”

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Yea. Consuming the foods we discussed, drinking alcohol, and stress can all cause you to stink more when you sweat. Like I said before, the apocrine glands respond to emotional stress – and they produce the stinkiest sweat because of their content of fats and proteins. This content attracts bacteria that eats away at this kind of sweat. The odor comes from the bacteria eating. Foods like onion and garlic contribute as well, as they absorb into the blood stream. When you sweat, their scent comes through your pores. The same goes for alcohol.”

“Well, what are we gonna do? I can’t go around stinking like – I’ll never find a me a nice lady to settle down with. And I can’t deal with that rash that always comes around when I use most antiperspirants.”

“I don’t blame your underarms for rejecting those awful deodorants,” I reply. “All they do for you is block your pores with aluminum-based ingredients. Did you know that many of the chemicals found in store-bought deodorants can absorb into your blood stream and cause problems later down the line? And lots of people have bad reactions to the chemicals in these products. So, you’re not alone.”

Bill sighs, irritated with his situation. “Well, what am I supposed to do then? Can’t use deodorant, can’t stink like a half-dead bear laying in the sun either. Am I just out of options or what, Doc? Can ya help me?”

I think for a moment, and tap my pen on my lips as I think. I often do this when I search for a solution to a patient’s problem. For a few moments, I cannot think of anything. Then, I remember this deodorant line my sister talked about. She’s in love with this deodorant line. “Hold on a moment, Bill. I think I can fix your problem.”


The Diagnosis

I walk into my office. What was the name of that brand? Face something or another. Face garden? Skin garden? Facial frenzy? Natural beauty? I pick up the phone and dial my sister’s number, hear it ring a few times.

“Hello?” she answers.

“Hey, sis. What’s the deodorant you use? Face lift or something?”

She chuckles on the other end. “No, goof. Face naturals. It’s called face naturals. They have a web-store.”

“Thanks.” I promptly hang up the phone without saying goodbye, and type ‘face naturals‘ into my search engine. After taking a few minutes to read up on their ingredient lists, I realize I have found Bill’s solution.

“Hey, Bill!” I walk back into the examination room. “I know what you can do.”

“What’s that, Doc?”

“Sorry to keep you waiting. You can try face naturals. They have a collection of organic deodorants made from natural botanicals.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Sounds sissy to me. What’s it about?”

I laugh at his response. “Well, they make their deodorants to help keep your sweat from stinking – not to keep you from sweating. This way, you do not hinder one of the most important detox functions your body has. See, their basic ingredients for an effective deodorant include arrowroot powder, baking soda, and essential oils.”

“Sounds like it’ll make me smell like a sweaty fruit pie, but go on.”

“The baking soda cleanses and eliminates odor, and arrowroot powder absorbs some of the sweat so that you don’t have to worry about excess sweat. The essential oils will kill the bacteria and make you smell nice. Face naturals has fragrances like Grapefruit and Bergamot, Peppermint and Tea Tree, and Lemon and Clove – which I think you will like.”

“You think they actually work?”

‘’I feel certain they will actually work. You have options with them. You can use it in a stick or cream form. They also have a spray-on deodorant available, as well as some powdered ones. You can use the powdered ones for double protection, too.”

“How do I get a hold of these products?”

“Go to to learn more, or contact their support. They can help guide you into a better deodorant regimen that works for you.”

Bill rubs his eyes again. “Okay, I guess I’ll give it a go. But, you already know that I’m a strong man with a strong smell and a strong sweat. I doubt this flower-garden fluff is gonna work well for me. Have a nice day, Doc! Thanks for your help!”


A Week Later…

I sit in my office, reviewing the notes from the day’s patients. The sun shines brightly outside, which entices me to go on a walk for my lunch break. Suddenly, the phone on my desk rings, so I reach over to pick it up.

“Dr. Doc speaking. How can I help you?”

“Hey, Doc!” Bill’s voice shouts enthusiastically from the other end.

“Hi, Bill. Anymore sweat-tastrophes recently?”

“No! Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Face naturals really works!”

I smile upon hearing this news. “That’s good to hear, Bill.”

“Yea, been using it about a week or so now. That Lemon and Clove really does the trick for me. Smells strong and manly, but nice. I don’t stink like a redneck’s roadkill collage, and I don’t have to worry about rashes!”

“Excellent! Good to hear it worked.”

“Plus, the Peppermint and Tea Tree deodorant helps keep me feeling cool and fresh during basketball games -”

“- With the guys?”

“With the guys.” He chuckles. “Well, don’t wanna hold ya up on work or anything. Just wanted to let you know that your suggestion is working!”

“That’s good, Bill. Natural deodorants are often much better for your body anyway, since you get to detox your body and smell nice at the same time.”

“Yea, I’ll definitely be sharing this with friends and family, since it’s so much healthier. Well, I guess I’ll chat with you next time, Doc.”

“Yea, your next appointment is your physical. That ought to be fun.”

Bill sighs on the other end. “Sure. Physicals. Looking forward to it. Toodles.” He hangs up and I chuckle. Everyone hates physicals. But everyone who loves their skin should check out face naturals for better, healthier, organic skin-care options. See you at your next appointment.



Leave a Reply